Embracing Resilience and Grit: My Journey Through Challenges

A Time of Reflection and Growth

I have to say, August and September have been challenging months for me. Reality hit me squarely in the face. My website was not what I thought it was—or what it needed to be. I didn’t have the money to hire someone to fix everything and make it work, so I had a decision to make: keep feeling overwhelmed by what I didn’t know, or slow down and start learning how to improve it myself.

At the same time, something wonderful happened. I got married. My husband and I had a small, intimate ceremony in Markleeville. It was exactly what we wanted. We have both been married before, so this wasn’t about putting on a big production. It was about choosing one another and honoring the life we are building together.

A Much-Needed Getaway

Afterward, we spent a week in Monterey on the California coast. I loved it there, but the trip also helped me realize something important: I needed to get away—not only to play but also to work. Every morning, I worked from our vacation rental. Without the usual distractions, I could focus on my website, learn new things, make changes, and solve one problem at a time. I made improvements and experienced several breakthroughs.

Then, every afternoon, we played golf and enjoyed the coast and the community around us. It was exactly what we needed. My new husband and I needed time away together, but we also needed quiet mornings when each of us could do what we wanted on our own. From lunchtime on, we could enjoy one another and our surroundings. That balance of solitude, work, play, and connection felt restorative.

Recognizing the Struggle

It also helped me recognize that I had been white-knuckling my way through life for a very long time. I had been comparing myself to other people, beating myself up, worrying about money, and expecting myself to have everything figured out. I had convinced myself that if I just worked harder, pushed longer, and held on more tightly, I could somehow control the outcome.

But white-knuckling is not the same as resilience. I had also lost—or perhaps more honestly, chosen to give up—a few things that had once been important to me. I needed to establish boundaries, and boundaries do not always sit well with other people.

Financial Realities

I had invested more money in my business than I expected because almost everything cost more than I anticipated. I had to take an honest look at what was working, what wasn’t working, and what I could no longer afford to continue doing. My personal expenses also increased, and I let that reality create enormous stress. Money has a powerful emotional energy, which is something I plan to explore more deeply in my next book, The Energy of Sex and Money.

The Quest for Perfection

I was also trying to make my online program perfect. It isn’t perfect. It probably never will be—and that is not because it lacks value. It is because it will always be growing and evolving as I learn more, work with more people, and understand more clearly what they need. Even in my relationships, I sometimes felt that I wasn’t giving enough or that I wasn’t good enough. Old beliefs and old patterns began sneaking back in.

A Shift in Perspective

So I put my head down—but this time, not simply to push harder. I reclaimed some of my time. I returned to meditation. I gave myself permission to learn slowly. I cut unnecessary costs, strengthened my boundaries, and focused on what mattered most. And guess what happened? New doors began to open.

New conversations started taking place. My direction became clearer, and my purpose continued to unfold. I am resilient. I also know how to grit my teeth, dig in, and keep moving in my own direction. But I am learning that resilience does not always mean pushing forward without stopping. Sometimes resilience means pausing.

Understanding the Concept of "Eddying Out"

In river language, there is something called “eddying out.” An eddy is a calmer area of water beside the main current. A kayaker or rafter can move out of the rushing water and into the eddy to rest, regroup, check the route ahead, or wait for the right moment to continue. Eddying out does not mean abandoning the river. It means respecting the current enough to know when you need a pause.

That is what these past two months have been for me. I did not quit my business, my purpose, or my vision. I moved into calmer water long enough to catch my breath, learn what I needed to learn, and decide how I wanted to move forward. It is okay to pause. It is okay to focus intensely on one area of your life for a while. It is okay to reintroduce the routines and habits that help you feel grounded. It is okay to admit something isn't working and make a different choice.

The Importance of Rest and Reflection

Sometimes staying in the flow means eddying out for a bit. Sometimes grit means digging in long enough to create the space you need to recover. Resilience is not always dramatic. It does not always look like a triumphant comeback. Sometimes resilience looks like taking your time back. Sometimes it looks like setting a boundary, cutting an expense, learning a new skill, asking a better question, or releasing the demand for perfection.

Sometimes it looks like resting in calmer water until you are ready to reenter the current.

Final Thoughts

As we wrap up this month’s theme of Resilience and Grit, I invite you to ask yourself:

• Where have I been white-knuckling my way through life?

• Where might I need to “eddy out” so I can rest, reassess, and move forward with greater clarity?

• And where has my own resilience already been quietly carrying me?

  
  

You may discover that you are stronger—and making more progress—than you have allowed yourself to believe.

Remember, it's okay to take a step back and breathe. Embrace your journey, and know that transformation is possible.